You know, Like that one Meg Ryan flick.

This generations version of sitting by the phone. Clicking the refresh button on the "viewed me" section in auto pilot, thinking perhaps something will change. A new viewer, a wink, a message, a poke... anything!

Most sites have an option where you can see who views you... I like and abhore this function all together. Its nice to see that your picture and perhaps basic stats pull in the views, but after the novelty of that wears off, you realize that unless this "view" corresponds with a resultant "flirt" of sorts, you dont meet their requirements... and that knowledge is just simply: cruel. What good is it knowing that "single907", "xxxtremepirate", and "b00tyman" have looked at my interwebz extention of me if they arent impressed enough to say "Hi." I think this application is well intentioned, it gives off the impression that you are popular if you are heftily viewed, but functionally it is more brutal than real life dating, its a newwer more raw form of rejection. In historical forms of dating, ie, my mothers glory days of bar hopping: you could go to the bar (otherwise known as the meat market) and have a good time. Most people went with a group of friends in varying numbers. You could set up camp at the bar, hit the floor and shake your groove thing as it were, or wander around touring the place. But all this time you could be blissfully unaware of the member of the opposite sex that has scanned you and then passed you by. I think it is much more humane to remain oblivious to disintrest. Ignorance allows for a lot fewwer blowes to ones self esteem.

However, every so often there is that gratifying moment:

That glowing, sparkly icon appears!

A notification, "you've got mail."


All of a sudden that agonizing torture of waiting is completely and totally worth it.





You hope >.<

Welcome to the dog show

So after the profile and pictures are posted you get peruse the other profiles. Most sites have a series of questions that they ask to help refine your search for you. Aren't they sweet? Height, age, sexual orientation, eye color/ hair color and type/facial hair preference, and even income, level of education, relationship status... One of these days they will include a virtual inspection of the anal glands and breeding credentials.... Seriously... I'm all for knowing what you want in a mate, but if you are going to get that indepth, you are going set yourself up for disappointment... In the end you'll have weeded everyone out and created an unrealistic expectation of this "perfect" person. Good luck.

Me? I leave a lot open... I think. I really don't care too much about most of that.... Though i prefer my men taller than me... And perhaps a bit older.

See, where I get really picky is the profile and if he initiates conversation, the content of his opening contact. If i haven't already checked out the profile, i will do so before i respond to an email. If either are weak, i will not reply. If he blathers about how uncomfortable he is with talking about himself... Or misspells simple words, uses improper grammar, or complains about how difficult life is and how lonely he is... Yeah... Big turn offs to me. I know I'm not perfect, but I try and I know I have baggage but its mine. I can no less expect him to want mine, why would he think I'd want his?! As for opening lines... Don't ask me if I give happy endings, or tell me you think I'm sexy (I'll appreciate the compliment, but I'm not looking for them when you only have a picture to go by), or tell me you want to get to know me but are too busy to call me yourself but here's your phone number so call you sometime ( I may not be a Kardashian, but if you are too busy to put out the effort to pursue me, I've got better guys worthy of my time who actually are available, Kthxbai!)....

I'm not the princess type, but i do conform to a few specific gender rules. I will respect you, admire you, and give to you in exchange for the same in return. I am likely to cook and clean for you if you pursue me. I will likely pursue you if you open doors and make me feel of value to you. I don't think that its a lot to expect the best out of the person i may possibly be giving me heart to... Is it?