Profiling, also known as the Pitch.

As with any social media it is a must to fill out a profile. These dating sites are no exception to that rule. However in this instance, everyone becomes a car dealer. The gender: make, age: model, ethnicity: color. The "about me" is your carfax report and the "looking for" is your who this is best suited for.

Like any car dealer worth his beans, no one tells the truth, the whole truth, so help them, God. Thats just insane. You dont let all those juicy details out until the purchase has been made and even then you hope they dont come to surface until the merchandise has been taken home and shown to momma.

So, here is it: My sales pitch

The Ellie

Make: Female
Model: 1984
Color: exterior; caucasian, interior; native american

About this car:
I've lived in Alaska all my life and still hate the cold. I am a single mother of one, working in a chiropractic office as a massage therapist. I've been living a very hectic life for the last several years and now that I'm settling into my career and have a regular schedual, I'm ready to meet someone to share adventures with.

I have a wide array of interests. I'm a bit of a nerd. I do love to read quite a lot. I generally stick to fiction/fantasy, but will occasionally pick up something historical or educational. I'm also a movie fanatic, I watch a bit of everythng. As far as music goes, I tend to be ecclectic, though country will make me want to bash my head in. If required, I can tolerate it. When I have the time and the inspiration is there I like to draw, paint, sculpt or write. I have passion for art, but I don't consider myself exceptionally talented. I am a devout Christian, but please don't take that to mean i am prudish. I'm what I like to call a liberal Christian. Im a firm believer, however I do believe everyone has a right to their own beliefs and the freedom to make their own choices. I can be crass and outspoken on a good day. I love to challenge people, and love a good debate. Im quick witted and can have a sharpe tongue. I am talented at speaking before thinking and rarely mean to offend. I have several tattoos and several piercings, with plans for more of each. I have a broad definition of beauty and art and body art and modifications fit in to it. I hate the winter. Yes, I know I live in the wrong state, but I am tied here for the time being. I love the summers though. I'd love to meet someone to play outside with, however, I am not big on fishing nor do i hunt... camping I can take in small doses. I love my job, work ebbs and flows, but I like that. I'm not much of a partier so I really don't go to bars or clubs very often, when I do, it's to dance. I enjoy going on long drives. I live for random adventures. I grew up with 2 parents who were amazing cooks so I have a passion for good eats, I consider myself a bit of a foodie.

You should look in to this car if:
That is still very fluid. I'm looking for a companion. Someone to share life with, weather it be a game of cards on the floor, a movie on the couch, a trip through Canada in the car, an outing to an event or anything else that comes about... I don't want someone who loves everything i love, i want someone who has a passion for anything and everything and wants to share that passion with me. I tend to like my men tall and bulky, it makes me feel safe. I suppose it'd be nice to find a gentleman with a twist. By that, i mean polite, kind, good natured, with a flare for the more unconventional... Tattoos, piercings, an intelligent conversation with multiple syllable words mixed in with a swear word and a sick sense of humor.
None of these are requirements or deal breakers, simply things that would be a plus.


And after the sales pitch, you select a picture or 10 that shows off the eye catching qualities of this handsome machine while trying to conceal the dings and worn areas... Because the picture really is the most important part. Everyone remembers when mom said, "Never judge a book by it's cover..." Well honestly, if you dont have an eye catching picture, what are the chances that your snazzy, well worded profile is ever going to be read? With out the perfect picture, you've really just wasted 30 mins of your life you're never going to get back because who wants to make that sort of commitment with out knowing what kind of eyesore they are going to be stuck with? Really...?

After all of that agonizing work, you click the "Post" button... and wait for the offers to come in.

tick

tock

tick

tock

Introductions, otherwise known as a disclaimer.

I'm still not sure who's idea this was... I refuse to take full responsibility. I'll blame peer pressure, that all too easy scapegoat. Maybe even Disney, hallmark, or the media... The wide spread commercialism of love, romance, and all things mushy. Or simply that stupid chromosome that allows me to crave ice-cream in mass quantities once a month, causes me to cry at the movies, and produce the urge to buy fully nonfunctional shoes because they are "cute".
I'll let you decide, either way... I'm dating...

My name is Ellie. A soul-searching twenty something looking to find her "other half," whatever that means.

Ive never really dated. Not even as a teen. I was (and honestly, still am) very selfconcious. In general I'm quite oblivious to others interest. When interest is expressed, I'm fairly baffeled and find myself at a loss for words. Like any "normal" human, i crave interaction with others... However find myself "strange." When I was assembled, i don't think i was given a properly functioning filter. I have a talent for saying the wrong thing at just the right time. And that's when I feel I have something to say... I'm a highly passionate person... And by that i mean that i see the world and all it holds in a different light and it just makes my blood course and my mind buzz. But I'd rather experience it through others... My deepest interest is in listening to other peoples stories. So, because of that, i don't talk a whole lot. I know a lot about a little and a little about a lot, so I'd rather absorb than spout off at the mouth. I wonder often if that comes off as uninteresting, or perhaps judgmental. I can be out spoken at times, and I tend to have a sick sense of humor. And there you have a taste of my personality.

By no means will I ever claim to be a Reese Witherspoon, Megan Fox, or Klhoe Kardashian. I feel much more comfortable classifying myself with lady's such as Rosie Odonnell, Kirstie Alley, Kathy Bates, or Rosanne Barr. I have curves and lots of them. Sadly, I don't have a chest to balance out my ample posterior. My face is reasonably average, really. The hair is my statement maker. I've been nearly ever color under the sun, natural and the not so much. I'm proud of a lot of my features, but that doesn't mean that I don't know I'm a unconventional beauty.

As I'm drawing near to 30 and many of my friends are married and building homes and families to fill them, I, the once "ahead of the game-r," am now feeling quite left behind which I'm finding rather lonely. So, with that in mind, along with the former and the advent of Internet dating, i myself am getting on the "market."

This is my story: